Winning

Sometimes – more often than not, in fact – the inspirations and hope of the day come from the smallest things.

Today, my morning was spent in a bad panic. Shaking, mostly, but otherwise unable to move without having to talk myself into it.

However, I’d acquired a checkup appointment with the local physiotherapist to give me a once-over, and I knew I needed to go.

(I have a long-term back condition, caused by typing too much, too fast, back in my PA days. I deal with it.)

With help from Himself, we made it down to the surgery. And as I told the lovely lady what I’ve been up to, she was so pleased!

By going to the gym, walking the dogs, even knitting, I was doing my best to help my body – and in healing it, keeping it flexible and motivating myself, I would help my mind. Which would then make me keener to do the exercise, attempt things and keep that positive cycle moving…

I felt like crying. Happy crying.

When you’re in a bad place mentally, all you want to do on some days is hide. Or apologise for anything. You’re a pain and hassle to everyone and should just go away.

But this lady heard me, properly hearing what I said, and reassured me that trying my best was doing the right thing. Because my attempts came from sound foundations, experience and knowledge of what I needed to do. Small steps lead to big ones.

Sometimes that reassurance is the greatest gift. You won’t hear yourself, but truths told by trusted outsiders can hit home.

Feeling like I CAN do it.

Also nice to know that I am doing the best for myself in physical healing terms.

Battling on. Buoyed up by such support. Gym later, and I’m looking forward to it 😊

Victory

This morning, I was trying my best… but sadly, it was not enough. 

Massive depression meltdown. 

Held up only by Himself, I made it through. I sank deep and had to kick up again in order to see daylight. But I did it. And am so very thankful for my family supporting me through it all.

Now, I’ve got myself moving. Not overdoing it, but I’m writing this from the gym. On my own (well, with a friendly trainer lady and a couple of other busy bodies). And I’m battling this time for positive adrenaline. 

Cycling for miles in a safe environment, watching Bettany Hughes on my phone screen. ‘Divine Women’, a documentary about the Goddess. 

I may not be quite a Wonder Woman, but I’m doing my best. This is more than I thought I’d accomplish today, by a long way. 

So I play on these fitness toys while listening to ancient tales of mighty women. 

This one’s for Nike – not the sporting goods manufacturer, but the Goddess of Victory.